The Weird Day
by Wizard Hopkins
Summary: Is it Thursday or Saturday? Draco's Guns N Things? Come and see one weird day at Hogwarts!


Harry woke up from a pleasant dream. It had giant hammers that floated around and hit people on the head. He remembered one of the hammers hitting Dudley on the head. That's why it was so pleasant.

"Well, I better get up…" grumbled Harry rolling off of his bed. He looked over at the other beds in the room and saw that they were empty. "Hey? Where's Ron and everyone else?" thought Harry aloud. He looked at his clock and let out a gasp of horror!

It was ten in the morning! He's late!

Harry scrambled around the dorm throwing on clothes as fast as he could. He brushed his teeth hurriedly, and ran down the common room where his books were. He snatched it off the table and ran to the portrait hole. He pushed the portrait open so hard that it flew forward and came smashing back onto the wall.

"Ow! What's the hurry!" demanded the Fat Lady rubbing her nose.

"Sorry! Got to go to class!" explained Harry.

The Fat Lady wore a puzzled expression, but before she could say anything, Harry was already rounding the corner.

Harry whipped out his schedule to see what class he had right now.

"Oh no! I have Transfiguration! McGonagall is going to kill me!" groaned Harry putting his schedule away back in his bag.

He looked out the windows he was passing. It was a beautiful fall day. He wished he could go out there, but unfortunately he had class to attend.

He was about to turn another corner when he heard someone call his voice.

"Potter?"

Harry looked around and saw McGonagall holding some parchments looking at him strangely.

He glanced at her, then at the door that was behind her. He had passed the class and didn't even notice.

"I'm sorry professor, I won't be late again!" said Harry hurriedly walking forward.

"What are you talking about Potter?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"I'm sorry I'm late to class!" said Harry as though this was obvious.

McGonagall looked at him oddly and the comprehension dawned on her face.

Harry stepped from foot to foot nervously waiting for her to speak.

"Potter" said McGonagall after a while. "What day is it?"

"Today is Thursday Professor" answered Harry.

McGonagall sighed and said, "Today is _Saturday_"

Harry stood shocked as he heard this news and slowly his face turned red in embarrassment.

"W—what?" asked Harry.

"Potter the whole Gryffindor House went outside on the grounds" said Professor McGonagall shifting her parchments. "I suggest you go out there and find them"

Harry nodded and started walking to the front of the school. McGonagall looked at him one more time and went back into her classroom.

"I can't believe it's Saturday!" muttered Harry. He had made it to the front of the school, where most of the students were. He heard a familiar voice and stopped to listen.

"Look I don't know where he is, I'm going to go and wake him up…"

He looked around the corner and saw Ron talking to Hermione, Fred, and George.

"Harry there you are!" said Hermione as she saw him standing behind them.

"Where have you been?" asked Ron. "We've been waiting for 2 hours!"

Harry explained how he thought it was Thursday. When he was finished everyone was laughing hysterically.

"You thought it was Thursday!" gasped Fred. "You were 2 days off!" continued George clutching his sides.

"I'm sorry Harry but that is pathetic!" laughed Ron.

Hermione, although she did find it amusing, was a little worried.

"Have you been feeling well lately Harry?" she asked peering anxiously into his face.

"I'm fine" said Harry shortly glaring at Ron, Fred, and George.

They all looked at him then started laughing again.

"Cut it out already" said Hermione sternly.

Harry shot her an appreciated look, and started towards the front of the school.

"C'mon guys, we can finally go outside now that Harry finally showed up from---from!" laughed Fred.

"Thursday!" laughed George as he finished the sentence.

"Harry I can't believe you thought it was Thursday!" said Ron grinning at Harry.

"Yeah I think we all know that already" said Harry irritably kicking a stone on the ground. They headed towards the lake and sat down underneath the palm tree. They waved to fellow Gryffindor and other students they knew. Harry went fishing. Hermione scolded Fred, George, and Ron. Harry pitched in too. Because they were getting on his nerves, he pushed Hermione in the lake.

"Harry!" spluttered Hermione. "You aren't supposed to push me in!"

"Oops!" said Harry putting a finger on his chin like a seven year old girl.

They all laughed, everyone but Hermione who was turning blue from the cold lake water.

"Hey are you ok Hermione?" asked Fred walking over to the lake where Hermione was floating face first in the water.

"Is she ok?" asked Ron walking over to stand beside Fred.

"Yeah is she?" asked Harry looking up from his essay he thought was due today, but was really due two days ago. But wait! If it was due two days ago, and none of his teachers asked for an assignment on Thursday, then Harry made the whole essay up about nothing! Wow!

"Here let's poke her with this conveniently long stick I found over there" said George as he poked Hermione.

"She isn't moving" said Ron taking the stick and poking her so she was on her back.

"Wow she looks pretty blue" said Harry taking the stick and poking her in the stomach.

"Yeah" said Fred poking her with a gun.

They all looked at Hermione, then at Fred.

"Where did you get, a GUN?" asked George staring at Fred. Every turned to stare at him waiting for an answer.

"Where do you think I got it? From Draco's Guns N' Things!" explained Fred pointing to a small stand set up right next to the palm tree.

"When did _that _get there?" asked Harry confused.

"It's been here Potter! And I think that mudblood is dead you idiots" said Draco from behind the stand while he polished a shiny gun.

"Dead?" they all said in horror.

They stared at Hermione skeptically then said, "Nah"

Draco rolled his eyes and went back to polishing his guns.

"Wait a minute Malfoy! Why are you selling muggle weapons?" asked Harry.

"Isn't it obvious Potter?" asked Draco sneering.

"Not really" said Harry.

"Bah! I sell whatever makes a profit! Look at this! Your own friend buys one of these! That's why I sell them! To make money! Aaaaaah!" screamed Draco shooting a gun into the lake. One stray bullet hit Hermione causing…no blood to seep out of the already lifeless body!

"She's really dead" said Ron sinking to his knees with his face in his hands.

"It's the cold hard truth son. You think you know a person. But then what happens? They drown in a part of the lake that is only waist deep. Then, they freeze" said Mr. Weasley patting Ron's back.

"Dad? When did you get here?" asked the Weasley kids.

"I'm always with you kids, whenever there is a dead corpse, I'll be there. Whenever Harry is around, I'll be there. Whenever there are muggle related things around, I'll be there. Whenever---"

"That takes care of that idiot" said Draco blowing the smoke out of the end of the gun he just used to shoot Mr. Weasley.

"For once Malfoy, I agree with you" said Harry kicking the body. Everyone on the school grounds pitched in…except the Weasley kids.

"Dads dead….Hermione is dead…" muttered George.

"Harry is stupid…Ron is a baby…" muttered Fred.

"Thursday" snickered Ron covering his mouth.

"Well today was interesting" said Harry at the end of the day as they sat by the common room fire.

"Yeah" they all said.

Suddenly Professor McGonagall came into the room and said, "I'm glad I found you four. Have you seen Hermione anywhere? No one has seen her in a while"

"What makes you think we know where she is?" asked Harry.

"Because you're friends with her?" said Professor McGonagall.

"We haven't seen her all day" said Ron stiffly. McGonagall looked at them closely and then left the common room.

"Thank God….they'll never know…" said Fred sighing in relief.

"Yeah" said George.

"Of course" said Harry.

"……Thursday" laughed Ron.

"AAAAAH!" screamed Harry as he pushed George into the fire.

"AAAh! AAHH! IT BUUURNS!" screamed George in pain.

"George don't worry! I'll save you!" yelled Fred taking the gun and shooting at the flames.

"What good will that do?" yelled Ron pushing Fred.

"AAH! Help me for the love of God! Help me!" screamed George as his skin burned quite painfully.

"Don't worry George! I'll put the flames out with the bullets!" yelled Fred shooting into the flames once again.

"That will never work!" screamed Ron grabbing the gun causing it to shoot George in the face.

"Nooooooooo!" screamed Fred at the top of his lungs. (close up on face, then dramatically zoom out with this one) "Noooooooooooooooooooo!"

Harry sat back casually observing the chaos. He sipped on his red wine and then got the craziest idea! He could jump into the flames and steal George's nice woolen sweater!

"Sweater here I come!" yelled Harry jumping into the flames with the dead, burning corpse.

"Give me the gun Fred!" yelled Ron shoving Fred to the ground.

The gun landed by the fire, and they noticed that George wasn't yelling anymore. They also noticed that Harry was in the fire now.

"It's just you and me now Fred!" seethed Ron picking up a burning log.

"Yeah, that's what it looks like" said Fred reloading his gun.

They ran at each other! Fred shot Ron in the head, while Ron managed to catch Fred on fire.

Ron died instantly, but Fred suffered a slow and painful death, just like Harry and George.

Not many good things happened that day. But it did prompt Hogwarts to make some videos on staying safe. One for fires, lakes, guns, and alcohol.

So remember kids, don't go too close to fires, don't go into freezing cold lakes, try not to drink until you turn the right age, and don't play with guns.

A classroom cheered as the video ended.

"That was the best movie I've ever seen!' said a Hufflepuff.

"Yeah! I'm going to drink wine just like Harry Potter did!" said a Ravenclaw.

"I have to admit, that was a pretty cool movie" said a Slytherin.

"Yeah but it is kind of sad how the whole Gryffindor House killed each other" said the Hufflepuff.

"I wonder why they did it…?" wondered the Ravenclaw.

"I guess we'll never know…."said the Slytherin.

THE END.

Author's Note: Wow that was a weird story! Review if you must.


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